tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post4114206633559536933..comments2014-04-30T11:05:09.625-07:00Comments on Let Creativity Begin ...: I have been leading a life of quiet desperationUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post-23141423221218174472012-04-02T15:22:24.554-07:002012-04-02T15:22:24.554-07:00Helen, I will be at the festival. Tom also, last t...Helen, I will be at the festival. Tom also, last time I checked : ) <br />... will be lovely to see you! XXXDanielahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14859756468035725396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post-82771338563621772592012-04-02T06:24:33.191-07:002012-04-02T06:24:33.191-07:00Dearest Tom, A and Daniela,
Thanks so much for yo...Dearest Tom, A and Daniela,<br /><br />Thanks so much for your kind words of support and encouragement. And particularly for Tom and A sharing some of their stories too. It means a lot to me :)<br /><br />Anonymous - I spent years berating myself and telling myself that my drinking, poor diet and aversion to exercise were all contributing to the darkness ... what's been interesting for me is that, following my GP's advice, I haven't drunk anything for three months and it didn't have the miraculous effect I was expecting. In fact things got even darker. That's not to say that alcohol may not have been helping me (and it most certainly did increase the risk of me acting on my suicidal thoughts) but talking about the source of my psychological suffering seems to be the thing that has unlocked things for me. So be gentle about judging yourself re: your reliance on alcohol in the past - no doubt every depression is different but, based purely on my experience, it may not have been quite as damaging to your mental health as you've been thinking. I'm not advocating a return to heavy drinking but I reckon you can let go of the judgement that you were contributing to your own situtation :)<br /><br />A few weeks ago I would have really squirmed at the suggestion that I'm in the slightest bit courageous or brave - it's hard to see yourself that way when you feel weak, desperate and self-centred - But now I can punch the air and say 'heck yeah! and you have *no* idea just how much bravery it's taken me to get this far and how deep my reserves of bravery go - I feel like I've got enough courage for all of us, come and get it' :)<br /><br />What a difference a fortnight makes :)<br /><br />Helen x<br /><br />P.S. Tom and Daniela, are you returning to the Dark Mountain this year? My ticket is booked so I'll see you there if you are :)Helen Harrophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04518893782042730673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post-6049347508285153502012-04-01T11:01:47.562-07:002012-04-01T11:01:47.562-07:00Helen, this is a wonderful post and I'm so gla...Helen, this is a wonderful post and I'm so glad you have been able to experience yourself as the messy and beautiful kaleidoskope you are! I hope you can really grab hold of that thought and that image, because it's true. I've only met you briefly at the Dark Mountain festival last year and have followed some of your work via your tweets. You have a very unique view of the world, a quirky wonderful one, that reveals things other people may not see. All strength to you, and thanks be to Keith and the others!<br />XXX DanielaDanielahttp://preciousbeautiful.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post-20338161772420511422012-04-01T10:30:57.830-07:002012-04-01T10:30:57.830-07:00Found your post very moving with much I could rela...Found your post very moving with much I could relate to. <br /><br />I spent most of my 20s and early 30s up and down with depression. Unfortunately I found that alcohol was my only way to cope through the week, which obviously is the worst thing you can do. Only in recent years have I been able to clean up my act. Although I still rely on anti-depressants I feel in a better place now. <br /><br />It takes a lot of courage to admit to those close to you that you are suffering from depression, you are so brave to go public with this and I hope it will help many others who suffer from depression.<br /><br />So glad you found the Maytree Centre and hope you continue to recover.<br /><br />AAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1784682831882179882.post-66852285243604889222012-04-01T09:27:14.332-07:002012-04-01T09:27:14.332-07:00Way to go, Helen.
I walked that very dark depressi...Way to go, Helen.<br />I walked that very dark depression road between the ages of 12 and 23 until I clocked that it was just a matter of time before I died from it, and began the excruciating and wonderful work of nourishing the life-force and becoming canny to the ways of the death-force in me. The paradigms I've viewed depression and mania through may have changed radically this way and that down the years, but I still count myself lucky to be alive, a triumph in itself.<br />There's really nothing wise or helpful I can say here, but I salute your bravery and your firm anchoring of your self in the territory of the alive. Keep on keeping on and enjoy the daylight!<br />Blessings,<br />Tom Coyopa.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00644698182428824562noreply@blogger.com